Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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