can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
