Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
