so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
