People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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