You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think your dad took our porno
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
