The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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