and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
