great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
