I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
