I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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