hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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