eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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