Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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