they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
