i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
