i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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