I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
