went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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