He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
