im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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