College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
