Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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