you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
