fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
