I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Randomize
