Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
