like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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