one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
