To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
