He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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