i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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