i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
