After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
