He asked to "fluff my boner.."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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