I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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