soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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