I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
