She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
