This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
try to milk me bitch
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
