i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
