I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The air was thick with penises
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
