Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
