capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
