Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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