I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
