so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
