bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
