Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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