Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
